Basic Bitchery

I was putting on lipstick the other day and it led me to reflect on a moment from several weeks ago that I had clearly repressed.

During finals week at the end of the semester, I was returning several of the textbooks that I had rented (used rentals because I am a frugal bitch) at our school’s store. It was 7:30 AM, freezing cold, and I was relatively stressed out about the final I was going to take subsequent to the book return.

After waiting in line, I got up to the lady, and she asked me to punch in my ID number. Usually I would know the number off the top of my head, but for some reason I was drawing a blank. I reached into the smaller pocket on my backpack and was desperately digging around to find my ID card that had the number on it. I am the kind of person that gets insane anxiety over the thought of inconveniencing others, or wasting their time, so it really stressed me out that I was doing this while others were waiting in line. This whole situation left me flustered as fuck, but eventually I got it all together and I turned to leave.

As I was about to go someone in line stopped me and said “Miss I think something fell out of your backpack”. He said this with a sly little smirk on his face, and looking at other people in line, it was like they all had this same look on their face. I looked down and noticed that my Kylie Jenner lipstick had fallen out of my backpack when I was digging around for the ID card, and it had fallen in such a way that the name “Kylie” was clearly seen on it. #lipkit

I was mildly embarrassed as I said thanks, picked it up, and quickly scurried away. I text a friend and told her that I just got “exposed as a basic bitch at the book store.” After I told her what happened she said to me “whatever at least your lipstick was cute”. This casual text really got me thinking, why was this situation embarrassing, and why did wearing a certain brand of lipstick make me feel like a basic bitch?

A basic bitch is categorized as someone who participates in actions that are seen as very stereotypical, and that reinforce what we perceive as the normalized attributes of women. They are seen as unoriginal, boring, and essentially just the “typical” female. Upon research I have seen that the reoccurring behaviors of a “basic bitch” are: drinking pumpkin spice lattes, eating a lot of frozen yogurt, shopping at forever 21, watching Grey’s Anatomy, wearing Uggs, quoting Mean Girls on the regular, doing juice cleanses, using mason jars, reading Nicholas Sparks, using the Nashville filter on Instagram, liking Marilyn Monroe excessively, star tattoos, yoga pants etc. There are so many more the list could go on.

Reading all of these articles left me conflicted.

In many regards, I agreed with them in my dislike for some of these attributes, and felt that they are indeed quite “basic”. But at the same time it can be said that the term “basic bitch” is in really just another way to shame women for their lifestyle choices and to demean them for the things that they enjoy. But then again, maybe it’s not that serious.

I feel as though if I were to refer to someone as a basic bitch (in my head, I would not say it out loud, #manners) I would mean that they were lame, and that I thought the things they enjoyed were just simply not that cool.

If basic bitch is part of the vernacular, then I suggest that basic bro should be as well. Characteristics include: saying Fight Club is your favorite movie, loves Vegas, catcalls, excessive football talk, overwhelming stench of Axe at all times radiating off the body, drinks Monster, loves the bands Sublime and Red Hot Chili Peppers, thinks Family Guy and Daniel Tosh are the pinnacle of comedy, excessive use of the word “epic”, always talking about how much weed he smokes, obsessed with Crossfit, saves beer bottles, obsessed with Kate Upton, wears boating shoes, says women aren’t funny, etc.

Chances are if you call a girl a basic bitch, then you are a basic bro. Embrace it.