Contour Culture


If you want this to be a post where contouring one’s face is condemned and shamed like I’m a Christian talking about homosexuality, or almost anything that is even a little bit fun, then you have come to the wrong place.

Don’t get offended by that it’s a JOKE.

For anyone that does not know what it means to contour, view the header image. It is essentially when you use makeup to enhance and add dimension to certain areas of the face, like the cheekbones and jaw for example.

I don’t subscribe to the whole “false advertising” mentality. That shit is dumb. When people say that makeup is the equivalent of  lying to the public it truly befuddles me. Did you think that she naturally had a smoky eye? That the winged eyeliner was something she was born with? Maybe it Maybelline? #IWokeUpLikeThis

And also, girls get shamed if they don’t wear any makeup. So it’s like a damned if you do damned if you don’t type situation. It’s kInd of the equivalent of befriending the school shooter / future serial killer kid in high school. Every high school has one. If you don’t try and be nice to them, and potentially initiate a friendship, chances are you will wind up on their hit list. When they decide to go rogue, you are just a moving target to them. And then if  you befriend them, you life will be spared, but at what cost? The conversations will probably focus on guns, anime, and Elliot Rodger type ramblings. If you haven’t seen that disgusting mess of a video go watch it. I just might rather be in the burn book than friends with one of those fucking losers.

Back to what I was saying, I love a bitch with a contour. It is an art form and the fact that she put that kind of effort in is truly inspiring. Most boys can’t even manage to wear a shirt without Cheeto dust stains on it.

I personally do a mild form of accentuating those features. Just a touch of bronzer. Only on days I am actually leaving the house for more than 3 hours. And when it is somewhere where other people are also going to be looking presentable. It’s not conforming it’s called having pride and not looking like I was on a 6 day crack binge.

For anyone that is going to hate on girls for engaging in this kind of makeup application, you should probably shut up and reflect on your own life. Take a cold hard look in the mirror, like Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler, and then rethink your priorities.

The real “false advertising” is the smile we all have plastered to our faces when  we are actually all suffering and dying inside. Saying “I’m doing well” in response to “how are you?” when clearly you feel like you want to get launched into a blackhole and obliterated by the weight of the universe is false advertising. So clearly we all participate in some form of  fakery and that is fine. Nothing has to be 100% real all the time. Some things we do just because it makes us happier, or it’s easier, or it keeps social interaction to a minimum. And isn’t that really the goal? If we are the U.S government we might even fake a moon landing. Who knows.

I’m kidding I don’t actually believe that.

Or do I.


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