It’s Suffering Season…

The holiday season truly brings out the worst in people. The entire thing is extremely reminiscent of Taylor Swift. Fake and inauthentic. (Also here’s a fun little coincidence for ya, her birthday is in December….she is truly the personified version of the holiday season).

For anyone that wants to call me a grinch, that’s fine. I can accept that. What I cannot accept is the tacky color schemes and the overall over the top aesthetic. Red and green are not cute! Tinsel is not cute! Wasting electricity with garish lighting that shines through my window and fucks up my sleeping schedule is not cute! Don’t get me started on the nativity scenes on people’s front lawns. Sometimes when I try and pretend that I am #fit and #healthy, I will go on a run/walk. Emphasis on the walk. When I go past a house with the Mary, Joseph, and Jesus statue situation, I will catch a glimpse out the corner of my eye and it will fuck me up.

Sidenote- I am a sick bitch that loves true crime. I used to watch Dateline and 48 hours when I probably should have been watching Barney or The Powerfuff Girls. I frequently read books on serial killers, and I just have an overall fascination with anything sick, dark, and twisted. Although I feel like this makes me more #aware it also makes me extremely paranoid. If I am walking by myself, I refuse to go past a parked car because I assume someone is sitting in it waiting to pull me in, abduct me, and sell me into sex slavery.

Now you can understand why when I catch a glimpse of that nativity scene, for a split second I will assume that Joseph is actually Ted Bundy. Also, can we just collectively acknowledge that Christmas Eve is the perfect night to burglarize a home. Literally anything that transpires that night, the kids are going to assume it is Santa. And there are literally dozens of new items just sitting there all wrapped ready to be stolen. Not to victim blame but I mean cmon…. they were clearly asking for it.

And we can’t forget about the tragic death of little JonBenet Ramsey that occurred on Christmas 20 years ago. I don’t want to say that I know who did it, and that in my mind the case is solved, because I would hate to make false accusations, but her brother Burke did it. And then the mom and dad assisted in the cover up.

This Christmas I will be expecting a Ramsey family lawsuit for the accusations that I have made on social media sites for years.

But I guess what we can learn from them is that nothing brings the family together during the holidays like covering up a murder.

I’m kidding. Don’t accidentally snap and kill your siblings this holiday season, no matter how on edge this time may make you. Because then your life is going to be nothing but completely justified speculation, and uncomfortable Dr. Phil interviews. Not ideal.


What I am really trying to say, is that it is important to me that you all know, seasonal depression is very real, and it truly makes the inauthentic joy and the expectation that this joy will be reciprocated feel like an unbearable burden.

I am not trying to sound like a horrible heartless bitch, but I mean, if the shoe fits…


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