The Oscars took place last Sunday night, and what a shit show it was. First off, all of the movies that were nominated this year are reasonable justifications for suicide. Not because they are bad, but because they are so depressing, I’m pretty sure there was a national increase in Lexapro prescriptions over the last… Read More Envelopegate Exposed
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Or as it is known for some of you: day to post on social media how fucking pathetic and tragic you are. The “forever alone” posts are embarrassing and self-indulgent. No one fucking cares. The constant complaints just make you sound like Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother, who… Read More Netflix and Kill
January was a real gem of a month. A truly amazing way to start off 2017. I have thoroughly enjoyed waking up every morning with the attitude of “so, what fresh hell is going to be served up today?” I don’t want to get political, because that isn’t what his blog is for, but let’s… Read More 50 Shades of Orange
I don’t know how many of you have ever been to California, but if you have, one of the most memorable things (besides all of the plastic surgery, and the overabundance of places to buy overpriced juice) is the traffic. To get anywhere, chances are you have to get on the freeway. It feels like… Read More California Crawling
I remember back when I was in elementary school, and summer or winter break was coming to an end, I would readily anticipate school commencing once again. I attribute this to ignorance and youthful naivety. In hindsight, it’s kinda cute that I had that kind of genuine excitement, and it actually makes me a little… Read More Back to School Bitching
I have been watching the Leah Remini Scientology exposé docuseries on A&E, and season 1 just recently came to a close. I wish it could last forever. Like Survivor or The Simpsons. There is nothing I love more than someone unapologetically going after a brainwashing cult, without fear of retaliation, and exposing them for the… Read More Xenu Kids on the Block
I don’t even want to do a recap for the episode this week because I thought it was BORING. All I am going to say is that Vanessa is someone that I would actually consider surrounding myself with in real life. I don’t think I have ever said this about someone while watching the Bachelor… Read More If I Was a Bachelor Bitch
I was looking at this intriguing Buzzfeed article that was created from submissions by the “Buzzfeed Community.” Their words not mine. People were asked to submit inspirational quotes that they use as their “life mantras”. Once again their words not mine. I would probably rather tell a room of people that I have chlamydia than… Read More Inspiration or Desperation?
I stumbled upon this list of 50 questions that was circulating online, so I decided to answer them, and divulge some fun little facts about yours truly. You guys can answer them too if you so choose. Or don’t. I’m not forcing you to do anything. #prochoice. 1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My mom… Read More 50 Questions
I was watching Say Yes to the Dress on TLC the other night, as one does, and there was a commercial that was constantly playing. It felt like the equivalent of being in North Korea and the only thing on TV is Kim Jong Un propaganda. TLC has about three different commercials that they play… Read More TLC – Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cheaters
The Bold and the Bitchy 